Oh the Deep, Deep Love of Jesus

The past couple of weeks at our house have been really busy to say the least.  Good busy...fun busy!!  In the middle of football, homeschooling, homeschool group and church activities my parents were able to make the long haul out from the great city of Midland, Texas to come to visit all of us here in Georgia.  And oh how I love having them here with me!!!  I have been gone from "home" for a long time, but it is still and I am supposing it will always be hard everytime they leave to go back.  I have GREAT parents.  You know when you are a kid and you think your folks are basically superheroes.....well I am pretty sure mine still are.  They are just the best.  The wisdom that rolls out of my dad's mouth is crazy to me!!  I wonder when some of that will rub off:)!!??  The sweetness that pours out of my mother's heart warms my soul.  OHHH to be half the parents to my children that they have been to me. 

I have been thinking a lot about home and what my parents have done for me in my life.  They have helped us in so many ways, but more than anything, my parents are transparent.  I know when they struggle because they tell me.  Their faith is the real deal. That is so rare....everyone (including myself) wants people to think very highly of them, of their faith.  I never want to admit I still struggle with sin....but I do.  I struggle with my words with my children.  I can be so harsh, so sharp.  I struggle with my feelings of inadequacy as a pastor's wife.  I don't love people the way I should.  At times, these sin issues can feel like a mountain....Everest!!!  I feel like Paul when he said (Courtney's paraphrasing)....The things I know to do....I don't do them.....the things I know NOT to do....well those I find myself doing all the time!  This sin struggle at times can be so overwhelming.  That's when God tenderly shows me something in His Word or through the thoughts of other Christians....I found this yesterday....

I was working on our music for Sunday....and we are singing "Oh the Deep, Deep Love of Jesus".  Every now and then I like to look at the history behind the lyrics.  So I googled the song......the writer's name was Samuel T. Francis and he lived in London in the 1800s.  Although raised in church he really struggled with his faith.  It happened that one lonely night in London he came upon the bridge overlooking the Thames River and was contemplating taking his life.  Thankfully those thoughts were overcome by these......the depths of Christ's love.  These are the lyrics he penned.

O the deep, deep love of Jesus, vast, unmeasured, boundless, free!
Rolling as a mighty ocean in its fullness over me!
Underneath me, all around me, is the current of Thy love
Leading onward, leading homeward to Thy glorious rest above!

 

O the deep, deep love of Jesus, spread His praise from shore to shore!
How He loveth, ever loveth, changeth never, nevermore!
How He watches o’er His loved ones, died to call them all His own;
How for them He intercedeth, watcheth o’er them from the throne!

 

O the deep, deep love of Jesus, love of every love the best!
’Tis an ocean full of blessing, ’tis a haven giving rest!
O the deep, deep love of Jesus, ’tis a heaven of heavens to me;
And it lifts me up to glory, for it lifts me up to Thee!

 

His life was changed.....my life was changed through love of Jesus Christ.  I too have seen my sin....it sinks me to the depths.  It offends my family, my friends, but more than that it has offended a Holy God.  So what was I to do?  Still ,what am I to do?  Run to the cross of Christ!  It is there that I find that the penalty of my sin is SO severe that God Himself had to die for it.  It is there that I find that His love for us...for me is so great that He would willingly lay Himself down as the substitute for my offenses.  When lost I found refuge in the love of Christ....and as a follower of Christ I still find my solace in Him.  ~~Oh the deep, deep love of Jesus.....Tis an ocean full of blessing....tis a haven giving rest!~~  When I find myself entrenched in the darkness of sin, I still run to the cross.  It is there where my hope is found.  I am thankful for parents who were and still are transparent enough to show me EVERYthing  I need is found in the cross of Christ.

 

 

This is Sovereign Grace's version of  "Oh the Deep, Deep Love of Jesus"

 

My Crazy, Mixed Up Day

               Today has been a LONGGGG day!  It started with the girl waking up around 5:30....just about 15 minutes before the alarm was set to go off....uggghhhh....I despise when that happens. I knew today was going to be jammed-packed full of craziness.  We needed to smush a full day of schoolwork into a half day....and there was a whole lot of whining going on when we had to wake up a whole hour early.  The reason for the rush was that I got a weird blood report back from the doctor and I had an appointment with a hemotologist in Valdosta....which is a good hour and 15 minutes from Waycross....the appointment was at 2.  Since I got that phone call last week, I had pretty much diagnosed myself with some sort of internal bleeding problem caused by none other than full blown cancer.....really I was convinced of it.  Come to find out, the doctor had misread my lab report and although I am very low in iron, I am not anemic and certainly am not dying....good news:)  I shared all of that to say this, which all of my family and close friends know....I am such a drama queen:) 

              But this is what I was able to think about for the last week.....I am thankful for my life.  I am thankful for my husband and my children.  When we were married 13 years ago, I NEVER imagined Jarrod would be pastoring.  I imagined my life much different....I imagined the things we would have....how advanced my kids would be in school (I would be home-room mom)....the big SUV I would sporting around:)  Well....we live in a 1100 sq ft house which somehow we manage to do everything in....including homeschooling.....so I guess I DID get to be home-room mom, hahaha:).  And that SUV turned out to be a rockin' minivan.  Here is what I didn't.....couldn't have imagined.....that my husband would love me like he does.  That he would be so committed to see me grow in Christ's likeness that he would sacrifice his time and hobbies to make sure he helped to cultivate that in me......that laughter and love would ring throughout our little home, because though sin does abound here......Christ's grace does SO much more.....that my kids know more about the goodness, sovereignty and sufficiency of Christ and His sacrifice than I ever imagined they could comprehend at their age.......And although the picture of my...our life, looks different than I thought it would.....it's colors are so much brighter than I ever thought they would be!  I am so thankful that God paired me with Jarrod for this life and that He has allowed us to disciple these three children.  I am thankful for the crazy.....mixed up appointment that I had with a doctor at cancer center an hour from my house......for mistakes.....for forgiveness of mistakes.....of sin.....and for the life I thought I wanted.....that God was so gracious enough to not give me.

Here We Go Again!!!

Well hello again:)  I haven't been blogging much.....I guess at all actually in the last three years, BUT it's time again.  I have all kinds of thoughts on my mind and am constanly thinking of how therapeutic it would be to write all of these thoughts down. So that's what you guys are going to get,  my not so profound thoughts that I have daily....weekly....or just whenever.  Thoughts about my family, life in the ministry, life as a wife....a mother....a homeschooling mother at that and more importantly, life as a daughter of the King.  In no way am I claiming to have terrific insight, but I know I have read thougths of others who have influenced my life toward godliness....I hope to be able to do the same for the two of you who will read this:)....My heart is to encourage....and let's face it.....better here than facebook, right;)  So, here we go again....happy Monday to you all!!  I am looking forward to what the week holds!